It is so complicated now - people ask what pregnancy this is and I always stumble over the answer. 3, 4, 5...Two kids at home, one kid that does not live with us, and one miscarriage. Is that too much information? I mean, the technician is probably just filling out the paperwork right, but then I never know what to say.
Everything in life makes you stronger.
I have never once regretted my decision to place my child for adoption in college. It was the best, most selfless decision I ever made. But, people have different opinions of adoption. So, I always want to explain more. But, then if I ramble do people wonder if I am trying to prove a point to them or to myself? So, I usually just say one child that is not at home and leave it alone. I mean, this really only comes up when I'm pregnant and people actually care about all your history!
My miscarriage was sad and difficult, but at the same time, there is something about going through a miscarriage that makes me feel like I crossed another threshold in my womanhood. I think it is silly, but still it feels like another check in the box. Another experience I know. Another person I can relate to.
And now we are pregnant again. With our third baby to bring home. And my kids are excited and we could not be happier. We talked about it at the beginning of the year, but wanted to wait, to move to a bigger house, get things more situated. But, then April rolled around and things got hectic with work, I kind of wanted to be pregnant so I let my charting slide, and then in May the kids started asking when they could have a baby brother. They got so repetitive that I told a friend, who suggested I take a test...and PREGNANT! And the timing is great. Our debts are almost gone. Things are working out at my husband's new job. I'm well established at work and am not worried what maternity leave will do to my career. We could move early next year. And, once again, we realize how blessed we are!
Thanks for listening!