Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Dog

Our dog is a 65-pound labradoodle that thinks she is about 10 pounds.  This is an issue because she does not realize her own strength, whether that be when she is greeting us, the kids, or perfect strangers.  Twice now I have threatened to murder her when her excited butt took out the toddler coming up the three stairs in our foyer.  But, she can be good, and my husband and the kids are really attached, so she will be staying, and we are working on her excitement issues.  She used to pee the floor when anyone she knew - including us, who LIVE here - came over.  Now, she only does it a little bit and for people she is really excited to see.  A step up - yay!

The toddler hates when the dog gets in her way, I think because the dog is so unmovable to the toddler, who is just as tall and half as heavy.  This morning, the dog stepped on the toddler's foot.  Her first response was to whine about it, but then she looked at the dog and said "Gracie, you stepped on my foot.  Kiss it" and then proceeded to try and hang on to the dog while shoving her foot in the dog's face and pointing out the spot "right here, kiss it right here".  She never did get the kiss, but her foot is fine.  Moments like these are when I wish we were on reality TV and had every second videotaped because that was so freaking cute I wish it were captured forever.  At least it is captured on the internet...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Potty Mouth take 2

I swear I am not that bad a parent!  But, I will go ahead and write the second potty mouth post in a week...

My in-laws gave the toddler an awesome Thomas the Train car that flies across the room when you push down on the conductor.  It is really cool.  She was playing with it upstairs on Christmas, shooting it across the room, when it crashed into something.  Her response "oh crap, it crashed"!  I was not there to hear it, but heard the story retold a number of times.  Everyone laughed, but most were appalled she would say "crap".  I just thought it was funny.

This prompted my husband and I to have a discussion about language.  I really do not think "crap" is so bad, but he says it is just one step above "sh!t".  I would rather she say "crap" than call someone "stupid" or say "suck".  He does not think those are as bad.  So, I am curious, oh Internet...what are your definite "no" words and what can you live with?  And I'm not talking about the standard 4 letter words, lets hope we all want to avoid those.

p.s. - lest you think my husband is perfect, it was not I who taught my daughter how to "point" at bad drivers... 

p.p.s - here is the toy on Amazon

Monday, December 28, 2009

Yay Christmas!

Our Christmas turned out to be wonderful.  After being in this fog of pregnancy exhaustion, stress, worry, and hormones for almost two months, I did not think I would ever find my Christmas spirit.  But, I did!  Our cards went out late - two days before Christmas - but I am going to pretend it was the incredible snow storm and not care because everyone loved the FOUR pictures (yes, apparently I am narcissistic about my children) in the cards!  We put the tree up two days before Christmas, and the husband and I stayed up late on Wednesday so I could wrap all the gifts while he sat by and watched.  Oh, and wrote the tags - I was "doing such a great job" wrapping, he did not want to get in my way!  Once the presents were under the tree and the house was all picked up, it looked so great I was sad it took me so long to find my Christmas spirit.  But, there is always next year!

For Christmas - technically Christmas Eve - my body gifted me with no more bleeding!  After bleeding consistently from December 1st, I was pretty relieved that my body stopped that action, and since the bleeding has continued to stay away, I can cancel the appointment for the D&C I never wanted!  We did Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with the in-laws.  I had a great time at both places, and for the first time since we got married 3 1/2 years ago, I did not miss my family and wish I were with them instead.  I missed them and wished I could have spent Christmas with my family and our traditions, but I was thoroughly engrossed in the celebration with my husband's family and did not want to be anywhere else.  That is awesome! 

We had a great Christmas!  I have so many things to be thankful for this year.  The last two months have been hard, but now that I am out of my fog, I can see how great the year was overall and be thankful for what I have. 

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Potty Mouth!

I do not know how the toddler managed to come up with all these inappropriate words she says, but it is hysterical! 

We were getting ready to go out in the snow on Sunday, so I got out the snow suits.  She proceeded to repeatedly refer to hers as her "snow sloot".  When I tried to correct her, she said "no, not suit, sloot".  ohhhkay...

Yesterday she gets up from nap, starts playing with a Winnie the Pooh toy, and then tells me that she likes "E-whore" the best.  Again, she would take no corrections.  "E-whore! E-whore! E-whore!"

Haha :)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I'm easy

I have the easiest labors ever.  Seriously, both girls were practically identical labors - I went in for the scheduled induction around 7am, labored lightly until the pressure was a bit rough, got an epidural, rested, laid* on each side for an hour or so, and then pushed the baby out in 5 minutes or less!  They were both born after just shy of 8 hour of labor.

I learned last night that miscarriage is a lot like labor without the fun reward.  My contractions (cramping?  oh hell, no, that is a BAD description and somebody needs to tell the OBs to stop using it) started around 4ish on the way home.  I managed to get the girls inside, my laptop set up, and Wall-E on the tv before things got too rough.  And then I sat on the couch, uploading pictures all night long (I SUCK at this so I am usually months behind!) trying to take my mind off this awfulness.  It was painful, even with the 800mg of Motrin.  I bled a boatload, passed a bunch of clots, and by midnight, I was done.  I passed a very large clot around 11:30 and my contractions went away and my bleeding slowed considerably.  I made it all night without ruining the towel I slept on just in case.  The couch I sat on through the whole process was not so lucky.  But, my amazing, wonderful, awesome husband spent 45 minutes (NO exaggeration) cleaning that sucker off and there are no traces of stain!  Today I am back at work and feel fine. 

It is very odd to me how similar my miscarriage process was to my labor.  I have heard there are days of bleeding and pain.  While I have been spotting/bleeding for weeks, I really only had heavy bleeding yesterday afternoon.  I guess I feel lucky.  I'm lucky to have such a cooperative uterus.  And I am blessed to have two beautiful, perfect, healthy girls I carried perfectly fine to cheer me up when I get down.

*I spelled this "layed" at first, then spellchecker told me that was wrong.  but "laid" makes me think of "get laid", which is not even on my mind these days, but apparently my subconscious is also dirty!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


I went to the OB yesterday.  My first appointment was two weeks ago, and oddly enough as I was leaving my urine sample, I noticed blood.  It was the first time, and I had a terrible (lost my voice) cold.  The doctor predicted my coughing riled up my implantation bleed and it decided to show, which happens to a lot of people, but had never happened to me before.  But, she sent me for an ultrasound to be sure!  I saw the baby - just a head and glob of body - and the heartbeat.  There were no special instructions, just to call back if things changed/got worse.

My bleeding continued.  Sunday, it was heavier that ever, and yesterday it was still going strong, so I called for an appointment.  The nurse practitioner was very nice and unassuming.  She checked for the heartbeat using the doppler, but could not find one.  She did an internal and saw the bleeding, but called it moderate.  Then she went to get a different doppler because they do not always cooperate.  Still no heartbeat.  I asked about my urine sample, but it was too full of blood to tell them anything.  They sent us for another ultrasound.

The tech seemingly did not even try for a picture of the baby, which was odd because the last tech got a couple pictures for us and a heartbeat.  Then, she had my empty my bladder so the radiologist could do the internal ultrasound, which was also weird considering I was 11 weeks.  But, then we saw the baby.  Or not the baby, but what was once a baby.  She just held the probe in place for what felt like forever until finally saying "at this point, I should have seen the heartbeat".  She ran a scan, but got nothing.  She measured the baby and got 8 weeks 4 days.  The last ultrasound measured the baby at 8 weeks 1 day. 

If my appointment was just a few days later, I never would have seen the heartbeat.  Is that better?  Or worse?  I would not have told people outside of family and close friends, would not have mentioned it on facebook, something I did because I had seen the heartbeat.  I went to sleep last night wondering what happened to the head - I saw it so clearly two weeks ago, and this time there was just a glob of tissue.  My husband said they probably got a bad angle, but I doubt that.  And it doesn't matter because the baby is gone and there is just tissue left in place.  But, I can't stop thinking about the baby with the heartbeat I saw two weeks ago.  And feeling sad.  For what was, what could have been...

Friday, December 4, 2009

Black Friday

This year I did not participate in Black Friday.  I usually do not, but last year I decided I was not going to miss out on the deals, so I braved the crowds.  And I freaking loved the experience.  I compiled my Christmas lists, scoured the leaked ads for weeks, and the released ads the day before.  I knew where I was going, what I was buying, and I planned a route.  I went by myself to avoid having to wait on someone else.  It was bliss.  I got up at the crack of dawn, leaving my sleeping family behind, and I waddled (b/c at 7 months pregnant I was already HUGE) around the stores, collecting things.  By 10am, I breezed back into the house, high on my Starbucks, car loaded down with gifts.  And in 4 hours, I had completed 90% of my Christmas shopping.  A-MA-ZING! 

This year, much to my disappointment, I had no idea what I wanted to get people, did not have enough lists, and did not see anything in the ads that spoke to me.  I cannot imagine braving all the traffic and noise without a plan, so I skipped out on the sales.  And now it is December and the weight of the gifts I have to buy, the family picture that we need to get done, and the Christmas cards I have to find admist all the crap I bought during after Christmas sales last year buy and write is pressing down on my shoulders and making it hard to breathe.  Or maybe that's just the chest cold I'm battling. 

The point is, I am really struggling with gifts this year.  I just do not know when I am going to go out and get stuff and I do not know what I want to buy the kids.  That is the worst part for me.  Last year I knew just what to get the toddler and was SO EXCITED.  Plus, we do not have much to spend, so I want to stretch the dollar as far as possible for a great gift.  Meh, I'll get there. 

On a more positive (HA!) note, our washer broke last Wednesday night.  So, we did get to partake in the awesome appliance sales on Black Friday!