Death is hard and we just had a very difficult one in my family. Though I wanted this space to be my online journal, I really have no idea how I am using it, so for now I will just use it to remember.
The ten days after my uncle's sudden passing was really a blur of life. I mostly walked around in a haze of emotion and did as little as possible around the house.
The thing is with kids, there is no escape from life. No matter how much I wanted to just go through the motions of the day, I still had to interact with them on some level. And that is good - it keeps you engaged. But also hard because talking to anyone requires effort, something that takes motivation that is not there.
On Sunday we had the viewing and then Monday was the funeral, but we were staying up with cousins, so I had to pack Sunday morning for myself and the three kiddos. I tried to go light, telling the kids to wear their black church shoes since we were going to church on the way to the viewing and they would wear them again the next day. No need to pack extras!
On the way into church not far from the funeral home (and too far from our home), the munchkin kept losing her shoe. Then after church on the way to the funeral home, she says her shoes are a size 9. She wears a 6, maybe getting close to a 7. So we had this ridiculous conversation "are you sure it isn't a 6?", "nope, a 9". "well, is there a line under the number? maybe it is an upside down 6.", "no, it is a 9!" I really didn't think anything of it until she started wandering around the funeral home losing her shoe. Sure enough, she was wearing her sister's old size 9.
When questioned why she wore the wrong size shoe, her response - delivered hands on hips and oh so matter of factly was "you told us to wear our black shoes, the princess gave me these and I put them on. I don't care about shoes. I just put them on."
Her delivery is everything. She restated this story a number of times over the weekend bringing smiles to everyone as she stated the facts. And for that, I am grateful we had this mishap. A little silly joy in a tough weekend!
Thanks for listening!