Thursday, October 21, 2010

Selfish Mom

I read this post a while ago (cannot remember where or I would link to it) about how mom's can easily find themselves saying "no" too often and how selfish that is.  This resonated with me so much that I have changed how I do things in my life.  I found myself saying "no" a ton - mommy, can I help you with the laundry? "no", mommy, can I help you make dinner? "no".  Sure it can be frustrating to try and make dinner with someone underfoot, especially after a long day of work and stuff.  Doing the laundry with a toddler in tow means she will find a toy downstairs, maybe bring downstairs things upstairs, or something else equally as insignificant.  Does it really add that much time and frustration to allow her to get involved?  The answer is "no".

So, over the last 6 months, I have made an effort to say "yes" more often.  To ask the princess if she wants to run the store with me if I have to make a quick trip.  If we both get up early on Saturday, we will go to the store and get sugar cereal or pancakes, while my husband and the munchkin sleep.  She enjoys helping me cook.  She loves to help me sort the laundry!  She will bring down her underwear basket and her sock basket and help me sort out those things, which is actually a big help.  It is great for both of us to let her get involved, and she is learning about housework!  It is a win-win!  Sure, there are times it is more annoying than helpful trying to cook multiple things at the stove with a chair in the middle, and there are times I do say "no" because we are short on time.  But, I remember that post I read and I try to say "yes" more often than not. 

I have learned a lot about the princess by saying yes more often.  I think this is especially true now that we have two kids (not a kid and a baby); these outings with just the two of us are a good way to connect without me getting stressed about the whole two kids, one parent with stuff to do situation.  I recommend all mommies take stock of how often they say "no".  You might learn something about your kids! 

Thanks for listening!

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