We royally screwed up this weekend. My mother-in-law was having a BBQ party at her house, which we knew about for weeks and planned to attend, and I even offered to make corn casserole. But, the husband decided to attend the 9-12 Project Rally in DC, which meant he was gone from 7:30-4:15, and I was home with the kids trying to clean the entire messy, disorganized, and dirty house, grocery shopping, and making said casserole. We spent all of Labor Day weekend out and about with friends, in-laws, and my family, so the housework was forgotten, and I spent all week recovering from the weekend, again ignoring the housework. By Friday night I was done, overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I had to do. Being alone with the kids makes everything move slower (why is that, btw?!) and then the casserole cooked over and made a mess of the stove. By the time the husband returned I was not going, all I wanted was for him to take the kids and leave me alone to actually move through the house vacuum cleaner and dust rags in hand. He decided he was also too tired to go and so we skipped the party. And forgot to give my brother-in-law the casserole, so we left them short a dish. I feel terrible. I know I screwed up by not going. But I also know that if I hadn't, my house would still be a wreck instead of the halfway decent mess it is.
I need to change my tune. I'm all about "we can do it" all the time, and I fall for the guilt trips (even the ones that I only perceive in my head), and so I say yes, and I overbook our calendar and overextend, and it continues until we hit a breaking point. And that's just ugly. But I also don't want to start with the "no" all the time or else we'll be those people that no one calls because "what's the point?". So, from now on, it's "Maybe. It's a game time decision. We'll bring a dish if we come, but don't count on us." And maybe that's sucky and I'll hate it after a while, but at least it gives us the flexibility to back out at the last minute.